Carlson

John Carlson: Extraordinary Expeditions

By: John Carlson— Yeah, I am the kind of man who thrives on the danger inherent in adventurous expeditions, like on our twice-yearly trips to the Gulf of Mexico. True, the gulf is rife with blood-thirsty sharks. But I just laugh them off, pay them no mind. This is for two reasons: First, as already noted, I am the kind of man who thrives on the danger inherent in adventurous expeditions. Second, to reach me, those sharks will have to…


John Carlson: ‘Raise The Lid, Dude.’

By: John Carlson— The other day while reading about the latest advancements in household technology, this came up. Smart toilets. It shouldn’t have surprised me, I guess. Everything else is smart these days. Smart phones. Smart cars. Smart whatever.  If I wait long enough, maybe there will be smart golf balls that make their way unerringly into the cup, no matter how bad you suck at golf. As a person who has actually teed off on holes where my golf…


John Carlson: Ya Gotta Love Dogs

By: John Carlson— For a guy raised by God-fearing parents, a 36-year member of Muncie’s Holy Trinity Lutheran Church and a graduate of that Christian college just up the road called Taylor University, I am a decidedly subpar, half-baked believer. Nevertheless, I say my prayers every night, soliciting no shortage of blessings, but also giving thanks for the ones I have. Like dogs. I’m not sure how this particular passage got dropped from the Bible. Nevertheless, I am certain at…


John Carlson: For Future Eaters’ Sake

By: John Carlson— They were, to say the least, spectacular meatballs. About the size of racquet balls, they were carried to our table by our friendly young waiter, an intense-looking kid bearing the two crowning meat jewels that topped each bowl of rotini pasta. Tomatoey scented, the bowls’ contents were thick with melted cheese. Just a quick look and one thing was obvious: If you were beaned by one of these babies, thrown at your head by a Major League…


John Carlson: Doesn’t Taste Like Chicken

By: John Carlson— My wife Nancy and I have been off-and-on subscribers to the magazine Outdoor Indiana for a number of years, which also means we get its annual Department of Natural Resources calendar. This calendar is very handy for pointing out things you otherwise might miss. Like, without this calendar, I wouldn’t know that Feb. 25 is the day skunk cabbage will presumably be blooming up in Pokagon State Park. So if you find regular cabbage bland, you could…


John Carlson: Time for Unresolutions!

By: John Carlson— It’s that time of year when we all resolve to make positive changes in our lives, except the positive changes from my New Year’s resolutions never last longer than noon on January 1. After awhile, these failures get depressing. So in an attempt to enhance my self-esteem, I figured I’d have way more luck detailing the things I resolve not to change in 2019, and sticking to them. For one thing, I am not going to keep…


John Carlson: Children Need A Special Gift

By: John Carlson— “I like trains.” That was it, one child’s fondest wish, hinted at in a card hanging from an artificial Christmas tree in a Muncie church’s narthex. There was more on his wish list, but not much more. A couple items of clothing. A pair of socks. Maybe a pair of shoes. Other cards on this tree represented additional little kids and their wishes. A Barbie doll. A toy car. A dinosaur. And the simple clothing items like…


John Carlson: Modern-Day Dentistry

By: John Carlson— Just the other day I was lying in a dentist’s chair when an intriguing question came to mind: How did the stuff they scrape off your teeth wind up with the same name as the stuff they slather on fish sandwiches?   This is the kind of thing that keeps me wide awake nights.   It’s like, I hate tooth tartar, because it’s a hassle to have removed in the never-ending quest for dental health. On the other hand,…


John Carlson: A Mulching We Will Go…

By: John Carlson— I love trees. I do until fall, anyway. Then I hate trees. Trees wouldn’t be so bad in the fall, of course, if only they didn’t have leaves. I could really go for that. Or, I could go for trees that had leaves, providing those leaves stayed on the trees forever and ever, never littering the ground. Tree scientists should look into that. Granted, though, leaves are special. One special thing about them is, depending on the…


John Carlson: Life In ‘Das’ Fast Lane

By: John Carlson— This summer my wife Nancy, her sisters Marti, Beverly and Margi, plus their sister-in-law, also named Nancy, visited Europe for two weeks, beginning in Normandy at the D-Day invasion site code-named Utah Beach. They loved the trip. What they did was follow their Dad’s path through World War Two. Their thoroughly-researched journey began where Louis Briggs hit the beach in France as a young American artillery officer. Later  they moved through Luxembourg, the Netherlands and Belgium, before…